Friday, July 22, 2011

What Really Matters

It's been a long, hot, busy week.  It's so easy to get caught up in the rat race, especially with a still fairly new job transition, summer social activities, and the incredible maintenance of a self-landscaped yard with incredibly fertile soil (the kind that make perennials spread like wildfire and weeds can attach to even the tiniest granule of dirt).

I want to do a good job on the job.  It's my bread & butter, after all.  I need it to do all the things I'm doing - the home improvements, the yard projects, and more recently, the vet bills.  It's very high on the priority list to continue to be successful in a changing environment.

The landscape...well, I really thought I was doing a great thing when I decided to remove most of the grass and replace it with beautiful perennial flower beds and a variety of hardscaped patio areas and walkways.  Some days, I toy with the idea of pulling up all the blocks, raking back the stones, and planting the grass again.  After loading up the backpack sprayer with Round Up at least every other week, needing gloves and pruners to hack down very ambitious roses after the first blooming, and having to drag multiple trash cans around the yard to fit all the weeds I'm pulling out....maybe dragging the mower to the front yard, and weed-whacking weren't all that bad, after all.  I'm sure this is much more work - not to mention, the hardscape work is still far from complete.

This year, I'm at a slight disadvantage - physically, still not quite up to par.  Post ACL surgery knee is great for walking and back to 100% flexibility, but the hands & knees gardening and laying pavers is harder work than it has been for the last 5 years.  I'm slow this season and it shows.  But I still can't seem to bring myself to spend every free moment working the yard.

The past year has been a very eye-opening experience.  From eye-openers in the workplace to the impact of knee surgery, something happens to the priorities.  I'm more careful about how much time and energy I put into things that don't personally fulfill me.  I have definitely learned to appreciate the simplest things - like being able to take my own dog for a walk.  (For months, I was at the mercy of others to come walk with me because it wasn't safe for me to hold the leash attached to a very active pit bull on icy suburban streets.)  I've also gained an even bigger appreciation for the people in my life who care about me - enough to help care FOR me.

Time is the most precious commodity.  I truly believe that.  And it's so fleeting....

This afternoon, I brought my best friend, my dog, home from the vet's office after another whole day of being sedated - this time for xrays.  It's heartbreaking to watch him teetering on the seat beside me as he struggles to keep his eyes open and avoid slipping off the seat.  He's limping when he walks, but at least he wasn't in pain on the trip home - at least not like a month ago when I brought him home after surgery - when he whimpered and couldn't sit down and kept pawing for me to keep touching him.

He's 9 years old.  He's been through a lot.  Two surgeries within two months this summer, and it looks like we're headed for another next month.  And even though the latest issue is limiting his mobility, he still wants to play, wants to go for walks, wants to climb up on the porch swing with me, and still maintains his exuberant spirit.

So, I brought him home, set the ramp up to the bed (which he jumped over), and curled up with him for a nap.  It's Friday.  Many people would head out to party after a long and grueling week.

But he wanted me near.  And I have realized.....time is all we have.....and I know what really matters....

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