Are you angry?

I'll make this brief, since it's a gorgeous day outside and this is such a dark topic. Besides, I need to make the most of the motivation fresh and sunshine bring. :)

I'm a fan of In Touch - the ministry show I normally tune into Sunday mornings (or later, as it also airs afternoon and evening on Sundays).  Dr. Stanley always has something good for me to ponder.

This morning's sermon was on the topic of Anger. 

It's funny how easy it is to recognize anger in others.  Hear the hostility in their voices.  Feel the frustration in their words. 

I certainly don't consider myself an angry person.  And I would hope that the people around me don't think that, either.

But, as I listened, a few things stood out.  Consequences of anger...feeling isolated, breaks connection with others because of our negativity, creates a critical spirit, feeling empty, feelings of love, joy and peace replaced with lonliness, fear, frustration and discontent, losing focus because it's distracting. 

It made me think.  So, for example, I often describe myself as "frustrated" - whether it's at work, at home or otherwise.  It seems like every day brings something that stirs me up in one area or another.

So, this morning, I'm asking myself, really, "Am I angry?"  Is THAT really what this is?  I mean, maybe "frustrated" is just a nicer sounding word to describe those feelings.  After all, who really wants to be described as angry - or hostile or bitter or negative, for that matter? 

If I'm angry, that's definitely got to go. 

So, as I dig into this a little deeper into the sermon notes from today, I'm looking forward to letting go, laying down, taking off whatever it is that's been stealing my former abundance of joy and peace. 

Thank you, Dr. Stanley!  I needed that!

Don't be afraid to ask, tell, invite....

Circumstances can change so quickly that we can miss the opportunities to appreciate the people who touch our lives.  Not just our closest loved ones, but people we see every day or even just on random occasions. 

I've personally learned, over and over, not to take people for granted.  They come and go.  Sometimes of their own free will, other times by the forces that be.  So, aside from family and friends (because appreciation should be a given), here's what I've concluded about relationships with people, in general:

1. If someone has made a difference or has touched you in some way, don't be afraid to let them know.  That could be simply telling them so or it could be an invitation to lunch (even if you don't treat), giving them a simple card or anything out of the ordinary.  An email is probably fine, too, but I personally believe something more appears more thoughtful....but reaching out is reaching out.
   
   People are often surprised when someone says, "I remember when xyz happened" and you tell them that it made you think a certain positive thing or feel a certain good way.  People like to know that the good things they do are appreciated - that they made even a small difference to the people around them.  Even those they don't really know.
2. Sometimes more than a simple "Thank You" is worth the effort.  People like to be appreciated - and thanks is fine, but if someone often goes out of their way for you, it's very appropriate to go out of your way to make sure they know their kindness, helpfulness, etc. isn't taken for granted.
   
   It's just like those "random acts of kindness" theories.  An unexpected card, lunch invitation, cup of coffee....  It's always appreciated.

I'm not sure what's been going on with me the past few weeks, but I've been paying particular attention to connecting with people at work in these ways.  We spend a LOT of time at work.....and I think it's really important to make it better than just work.  I really do try to talk to people, learn about them, know what's important to them.  I gave someone an inexpensive favorite candy and you'd have thought it was something valuable!  I sent a card to someone I've had one phone conversation with just because her excitement was contagious and it made my day. 

I'm not tooting my own horn.  I'm just letting you know that I do these things, so I know the reactions.  I've also, of course, been on the receiving end, and I KNOW how good it feels.

I guess my biggest realization this week has been that, even if you think people are so important or so busy.....it's really worth it to ask for their time.  If they really are that busy, they will tell you.  BUT, you might really be surprised that those people aren't as busy as you assume they are, OR that they will actually make time for you.

I reached out to someone this week who I really like.  I've worked around her for years.  My minimal work experience with her has been very good, and she's a likeable, good person.  Things are about to change and we won't bump into each other so much any more...maybe not at all.  She did have time for lunch.  We did have a wonderful conversation.  And I wish I would have asked years ago, so I could have had more lunches just like that one.

Don't be afraid to reach out.  You really might be missing something good.....

Finding the beauty in unfortunate situations

I went to a funeral today.  Another one.  I didn't know the man, but I know his wife and have always enjoyed working with her.  I just can't imagine that kind of loss.

The service was huge - so many people!  So I stood way in the back, just outside the back door.  I couldn't hear much of what was said up front, but the whole place rolled in laughter several times.  I'm sure I missed out in knowing a good man.

But from where I stood, I could see her sitting on the end of the front row with her most recent service-dog-in-training by her side.  I felt guilty for wishing I had a camera with a super-zoom lens, but it was the most beautiful picture of love..... 

That dog never took her eyes off her.  Eyes so intent, so focused, so....waiting.....

He would have been so proud.  She will surely be comforted by that dog in the next few weeks.

I'm not sure I've seen love like that in such a beautiful moment.....

Ghosts of Ghetto Trails

Once a blessing, the local pizza shop and corner store are becoming the root of a new neighborhood curse.

It's getting warm and the local slugs are out, slithering up & down the street with their pants hanging low.  They have no good concept of home or community - the world is their trash can and the people in it are merely pawns in their game of, "Can I get a ride?"

I walk beyond my front gate to find empty beverage cans and chip bags strewn from point A to point B.  I'm the unlucky one - situated at just the spot where the snacks & drinks run out....thoughtlessly dropped where the slugs never break stride.

I lived this ghetto dream before.

The drinks and chip servings were smaller, and so were the kids who tossed their empty containers on my front walk.   The store was tiny, the streets more narrow, and the passers-by couldn't ignore my calls to "Pick it up!"  No good excuse in a place where there were city trash cans on every corner.

Here, the streets are wider, the careless trash dispensers taller with bigger attitudes. And even if I caught them in the act, they'd feign ignorance and use their selective hearing to dismiss my calls with the wind.

I did not move here to repeat the past in a place that simply provides a bigger canvas for the litter paintings of ghetto mentality.

Let the battle begin!

Adventures before work

Friday morning was a real blast.

Sleeping all night in 20 minute naps makes me a little delirious.  (My best four-legged friend, Solomon, an almost 10 year old pit bull,is back in chemo treatment and seems very restless all night long.)

Got sidetracked by a phone call Thursday night and forgot to go looking for the holiday wrapping paper for my Secret Santa gift…..which ultimately, was in the attic. Something great to look forward to in the  morning – the ole drop-down ladder to the attic trick….on almost zero z’s and a few drops of coffee. Nice. 

But, I brought down the outside string light tree and a tabletop tree while I was up there. Why not spend an hour on the front patio in the cold to add to the light-up-the-corner efforts? And give Creepy Cat something new to knock down (he’s never seen a Christmas tree).

Then came the wrapping.

Note to self: Never choose dumbbells to give as a gift.

I was happy to see a 15-year-old boy asking for free weights – healthy, fit, maybe a little attentive to his appearance. One of his wish items was for 10 or 20 lb weights.  It’s all good til you realize that even with 10 lb weights, you have to get TWO….and 20 lbs in a box is a real treat to wrap! Even more of a treat to lug up the side of the mountainous parking lot at work first thing in the morning. I never want to gain 20 pounds – I thought I was going to need a sit-down break at the top of the steps before I entered the building!

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Before I could get out the door, my Dood rushed me wearing his pitiful cone (lampshade, post-surgical). Bad enough when he rushes me without it. He gets a good solid bite clamped down on one foot, at least. With the cone, it’s a bigger fiasco, and when it’s from behind, the cone can buckle my knees and leaves him grabbing my ankles or calves instead of my shoes.

Friday, he rammed me so hard he busted the cone and knocked one of the tabs out of the slot. Got the tab in, but the huge crack in the cone created a very large flap. Not only could he find a way around it to get at the incision on his knee, but he tripped over the big waving flap every time he took a step.

Already late, I grabbed the packing tape dispenser I’d just used to tape shut the box of weights. Using the tape roller doesn’t work the same on a cone as it does on a box. Tape stuck to itself everywhere, even after I grabbed the scissors to cut it. Try applying tape to a cone flapping around the head of an already upset pitbull. It’s a real treat.

I left with the cone semi tacked in place to resemble a cone, backed out the front door with my 20 pound gift in a re-usable fabric shopping bag, and heaved a huge sigh.

It took me most of the ride to work before the overwhelmed tears actually started rolling out from under my sunglasses (after I called the neighbor to ask him to go over & do a better tape job on the cone).

Back to the walk up the mountainside……I finally made it. Obviously, hugging a 20 lb package and balancing a sloshing cup of coffee caused me to activate the night-blinker attached to my coat zipper - the one I use for night walking with the dog. I arrived at the guard station, huffing & puffing, sweating, red and runny-nosed, and BLINKING! The guards found it hilarious!

Thankfully, I was able to laugh along with them by then, but it sure was a little too much adventure to have before work!  And a great reminder to ease up on the holiday feasts & treats - I'll never make it up that hill every morning if I have to carry an extra 20 pounds!

Hugs Between Strangers

I sat outside the vet hospital, waiting for my appointment to pick Solomon (my 9-year-old pit bull and best 4-legged friend) up from his 2nd ACL repair surgery. About the time I needed to get inside, the lady parked next to me brought her pit bull out and opened the back door to put her in the car.

I waited.

After a few moments of watching her adjust the blankets, I decided I could still get out and offer to help if she needed.

I opened the door & stepped out and she closed the back door and stood looking at me with a rather strange look on her face. She heaved a heavy sigh and looked pitifully at me.  "SOOO stressful!" she said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket.  "I feel like I just want to burst into tears!"

We chatted a few minutes and I learned that she had just come from her consult with the same surgeon who had just performed the surgery on Solomon. Her dog, too, had a torn ACL. Her dog, too, was a pit bull - a dog she'd found, and bonded with and came to know as her very loyal companion. A wonderful dog that defied all the stereotypes of the breed.

We had much in common in only a two minute chat.  We bonded instantly.

"You're from Pennsylvania?!" she asked, surprised, nodding at my license plate. I explained Solomon's first failed ACL repair and the recommendations that got us here. I also described my very positive experiences with this doctor and this facility.  She was unsure.  "I was complaining about my 20 minute drive to this place," she said after I told her we'd driven 2 hours. "I saw a billboard by my house," she said.  "ACL surgery for $2,000." She paused.  "It's not about the money.  I mean, I'll do whatever I have to do for her," she added, glancing at her dog in the back seat.

We walked inside and she went to speak to the assistant she'd talked to during her consult, while I checked in. The same woman who had talked to us in our consult. I could hear them discussing familiar terms and medications.  "Good luck," we told each other as I passed by to cross the room.

I saw her again as she was checking out and I walked over. "They do the follow up and the rehab program here," I whispered in her ear as the assistant watched me. "We did not get that where we went before and it really is important."  She nodded.  "Dr. L greeted us in this waiting room yesterday when I dropped him off for surgery and Dr. L was the one who called me last night to tell me how the surgery went and explained the details."  She nodded again.

As I turned to walk away, she turned around and hugged me.  A perfect stranger before no more than a 5-minute exchange.

There may have been another muttering of "Good luck" as we parted, but there was really nothing more to say.

Sometimes the biggest comfort comes from a stranger....

And I needed that hug as much as she did.

Take a Moment

I was leaving work tonight, running late, trying to hurry home to get the dog to take him for his 4th chemo treatment.  The time was cutting it close, anyway, and the visit lasts a while because they have to take blood first, test it, then give the treatment.  There's really no time to poke around.

As I approached my car at the bottom of the parking lot, I spotted 3 or 4 deer grazing in the field below the lot.  Late or not, I couldn't help but stop and snap a few photos and about 15 seconds of video, just in case it took movement to tell what they were from that distance.  Nature is a surprise a minute.  It's hard to resist.

I arrived home with just a few minutes to set the pet ramp up behind the car, put my things down, get Solomon out of the house and into the back.

Solomon suddenly decided he really didn't want to go and rolled over on his side, so I took my drink and purse to the car first & came back inside the gate to try again.  Over my shoulder, I saw a lady come from a truck parked in front of mine.  Solomon started barking, so I walked outside the fence to talk to her.

She asked me about my flowers, trying to find something new to plant at her own house.  She told me she passes every day and always looks to see the flowers.  And that quick, she was on her way back to the truck.

I turned back to my gate and in the pause where I turned back, tempted to offer to help her plant (she said she lives around the corner), she was already pulling away.

I was glad I didn't brush her off in my hurry and I was glad she stopped at all.  For me, it was affirmation that my landscape is achieving my goal - to give people something pleasing to look at, even if it's just driving by.

We hit a little traffic on our way to the vet and called to let them know we'd be a few minutes late.
 A small price to pay for a shared moment.  I hope she's glad she stopped, too...