Ghosts of Ghetto Trails

Once a blessing, the local pizza shop and corner store are becoming the root of a new neighborhood curse.

It's getting warm and the local slugs are out, slithering up & down the street with their pants hanging low.  They have no good concept of home or community - the world is their trash can and the people in it are merely pawns in their game of, "Can I get a ride?"

I walk beyond my front gate to find empty beverage cans and chip bags strewn from point A to point B.  I'm the unlucky one - situated at just the spot where the snacks & drinks run out....thoughtlessly dropped where the slugs never break stride.

I lived this ghetto dream before.

The drinks and chip servings were smaller, and so were the kids who tossed their empty containers on my front walk.   The store was tiny, the streets more narrow, and the passers-by couldn't ignore my calls to "Pick it up!"  No good excuse in a place where there were city trash cans on every corner.

Here, the streets are wider, the careless trash dispensers taller with bigger attitudes. And even if I caught them in the act, they'd feign ignorance and use their selective hearing to dismiss my calls with the wind.

I did not move here to repeat the past in a place that simply provides a bigger canvas for the litter paintings of ghetto mentality.

Let the battle begin!

Adventures before work

Friday morning was a real blast.

Sleeping all night in 20 minute naps makes me a little delirious.  (My best four-legged friend, Solomon, an almost 10 year old pit bull,is back in chemo treatment and seems very restless all night long.)

Got sidetracked by a phone call Thursday night and forgot to go looking for the holiday wrapping paper for my Secret Santa gift…..which ultimately, was in the attic. Something great to look forward to in the  morning – the ole drop-down ladder to the attic trick….on almost zero z’s and a few drops of coffee. Nice. 

But, I brought down the outside string light tree and a tabletop tree while I was up there. Why not spend an hour on the front patio in the cold to add to the light-up-the-corner efforts? And give Creepy Cat something new to knock down (he’s never seen a Christmas tree).

Then came the wrapping.

Note to self: Never choose dumbbells to give as a gift.

I was happy to see a 15-year-old boy asking for free weights – healthy, fit, maybe a little attentive to his appearance. One of his wish items was for 10 or 20 lb weights.  It’s all good til you realize that even with 10 lb weights, you have to get TWO….and 20 lbs in a box is a real treat to wrap! Even more of a treat to lug up the side of the mountainous parking lot at work first thing in the morning. I never want to gain 20 pounds – I thought I was going to need a sit-down break at the top of the steps before I entered the building!

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Before I could get out the door, my Dood rushed me wearing his pitiful cone (lampshade, post-surgical). Bad enough when he rushes me without it. He gets a good solid bite clamped down on one foot, at least. With the cone, it’s a bigger fiasco, and when it’s from behind, the cone can buckle my knees and leaves him grabbing my ankles or calves instead of my shoes.

Friday, he rammed me so hard he busted the cone and knocked one of the tabs out of the slot. Got the tab in, but the huge crack in the cone created a very large flap. Not only could he find a way around it to get at the incision on his knee, but he tripped over the big waving flap every time he took a step.

Already late, I grabbed the packing tape dispenser I’d just used to tape shut the box of weights. Using the tape roller doesn’t work the same on a cone as it does on a box. Tape stuck to itself everywhere, even after I grabbed the scissors to cut it. Try applying tape to a cone flapping around the head of an already upset pitbull. It’s a real treat.

I left with the cone semi tacked in place to resemble a cone, backed out the front door with my 20 pound gift in a re-usable fabric shopping bag, and heaved a huge sigh.

It took me most of the ride to work before the overwhelmed tears actually started rolling out from under my sunglasses (after I called the neighbor to ask him to go over & do a better tape job on the cone).

Back to the walk up the mountainside……I finally made it. Obviously, hugging a 20 lb package and balancing a sloshing cup of coffee caused me to activate the night-blinker attached to my coat zipper - the one I use for night walking with the dog. I arrived at the guard station, huffing & puffing, sweating, red and runny-nosed, and BLINKING! The guards found it hilarious!

Thankfully, I was able to laugh along with them by then, but it sure was a little too much adventure to have before work!  And a great reminder to ease up on the holiday feasts & treats - I'll never make it up that hill every morning if I have to carry an extra 20 pounds!

Hugs Between Strangers

I sat outside the vet hospital, waiting for my appointment to pick Solomon (my 9-year-old pit bull and best 4-legged friend) up from his 2nd ACL repair surgery. About the time I needed to get inside, the lady parked next to me brought her pit bull out and opened the back door to put her in the car.

I waited.

After a few moments of watching her adjust the blankets, I decided I could still get out and offer to help if she needed.

I opened the door & stepped out and she closed the back door and stood looking at me with a rather strange look on her face. She heaved a heavy sigh and looked pitifully at me.  "SOOO stressful!" she said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket.  "I feel like I just want to burst into tears!"

We chatted a few minutes and I learned that she had just come from her consult with the same surgeon who had just performed the surgery on Solomon. Her dog, too, had a torn ACL. Her dog, too, was a pit bull - a dog she'd found, and bonded with and came to know as her very loyal companion. A wonderful dog that defied all the stereotypes of the breed.

We had much in common in only a two minute chat.  We bonded instantly.

"You're from Pennsylvania?!" she asked, surprised, nodding at my license plate. I explained Solomon's first failed ACL repair and the recommendations that got us here. I also described my very positive experiences with this doctor and this facility.  She was unsure.  "I was complaining about my 20 minute drive to this place," she said after I told her we'd driven 2 hours. "I saw a billboard by my house," she said.  "ACL surgery for $2,000." She paused.  "It's not about the money.  I mean, I'll do whatever I have to do for her," she added, glancing at her dog in the back seat.

We walked inside and she went to speak to the assistant she'd talked to during her consult, while I checked in. The same woman who had talked to us in our consult. I could hear them discussing familiar terms and medications.  "Good luck," we told each other as I passed by to cross the room.

I saw her again as she was checking out and I walked over. "They do the follow up and the rehab program here," I whispered in her ear as the assistant watched me. "We did not get that where we went before and it really is important."  She nodded.  "Dr. L greeted us in this waiting room yesterday when I dropped him off for surgery and Dr. L was the one who called me last night to tell me how the surgery went and explained the details."  She nodded again.

As I turned to walk away, she turned around and hugged me.  A perfect stranger before no more than a 5-minute exchange.

There may have been another muttering of "Good luck" as we parted, but there was really nothing more to say.

Sometimes the biggest comfort comes from a stranger....

And I needed that hug as much as she did.

Take a Moment

I was leaving work tonight, running late, trying to hurry home to get the dog to take him for his 4th chemo treatment.  The time was cutting it close, anyway, and the visit lasts a while because they have to take blood first, test it, then give the treatment.  There's really no time to poke around.

As I approached my car at the bottom of the parking lot, I spotted 3 or 4 deer grazing in the field below the lot.  Late or not, I couldn't help but stop and snap a few photos and about 15 seconds of video, just in case it took movement to tell what they were from that distance.  Nature is a surprise a minute.  It's hard to resist.

I arrived home with just a few minutes to set the pet ramp up behind the car, put my things down, get Solomon out of the house and into the back.

Solomon suddenly decided he really didn't want to go and rolled over on his side, so I took my drink and purse to the car first & came back inside the gate to try again.  Over my shoulder, I saw a lady come from a truck parked in front of mine.  Solomon started barking, so I walked outside the fence to talk to her.

She asked me about my flowers, trying to find something new to plant at her own house.  She told me she passes every day and always looks to see the flowers.  And that quick, she was on her way back to the truck.

I turned back to my gate and in the pause where I turned back, tempted to offer to help her plant (she said she lives around the corner), she was already pulling away.

I was glad I didn't brush her off in my hurry and I was glad she stopped at all.  For me, it was affirmation that my landscape is achieving my goal - to give people something pleasing to look at, even if it's just driving by.

We hit a little traffic on our way to the vet and called to let them know we'd be a few minutes late.
 A small price to pay for a shared moment.  I hope she's glad she stopped, too...

Change of Season

I just spent all day in the yard - most of it breaking things down to store for the winter.  As depressing as it is to pack it all up and see the empty space, I know this change of season is the one thing that forces me to de-clutter the yard and the storage sheds.  Yes, that was plural - I've accumulated so much outdoor stuff, I've had to obtain multiple storage sheds and bins to accommodate everything.

 After dark, I sat on the front porch swing with my best 4-legged friend.  It was peaceful and it really felt good to sit there surrounded by the newly open space. 

I'm someone who is known to spend all day in the yard, always working on something.  I squeeze every  drop of sunlight out of a day.  The days have been getting shorter and soon it will be dark too early to do much out there.  I may tinker around with a few new designs using oddball pavers, but the majority of the landscape work is done for the year.

As much as I hate to wish time away, I am really looking forward to next summer.  This place is going to be awesome next summer!  I'm leaving off at a point where I'm all set for a few great spring projects.  The good thing is, I will have a few months' break from chasing down the abundant weeds and hopefully be able to get ahead of them in the spring.

Maybe the biggest relief of this year's change of season is leaving the outside projects and being able to focus totally on the indoor projects.  Last winter, I spent months confined to mostly my bedroom or the couch as I recovered from knee surgery.  No access to the basement for months - no home improvement projects.

Yes, I'm looking forward to a season of transforming my cluttered home office into a streamlined desk space with a wall of books.  I need this space to be an inspiration for my writing.  Doing the inside work this season will prepare it for the major project next year to open it up with an inspirational view of the back yard.  And a sliding door to that space is going to allow me to step right into my backyard paradise.

Each season has a reason, I suppose.  As hard as it is to stay inside and miss the birds and flowers....it's a season for change....

Someone to Share My Cookies

One of my previous posts talks about a guy who sat next to  me at work and how I realized he liked donuts....just before he left the company.  It took me a few months to get to know him after I was displaced & moved into the cube next to him.  But, I no sooner recognized that kindred spirit and he was gone.

This week, a friend of mine from work found out she got his old job!  I am so excited!  For many reasons...

It's not my department, but it is my division.  I used to work in the same department with her, years ago, so I know what she can do....well, she can do much more now....

I actually applied for a different position in that same department - it just happened to open soon after that one.  Oh, I was so hopeful that we would both land those positions and be working together again.  I mean, as "not easy" as my acclimation was to the team I worked in with her years ago, she and I really ended up having a great working relationship, and more.  Turns out, I didn't even get an interview for the other position, but it doesn't even matter.  I'm just as excited that she'll be (probably) sitting next to me.  And, of course, I know that department just added an excellent person to their team.

It's funny.  We're working in a world where remote teams and diverse geographic locations are the norm in business.  Work gets done - we have the technology.  And for those who really put forth the effort, it really is possible to form "personal" relationships with people miles and miles away.  I don't care what anyone says.  Where there's a will, there's a way.

And don't mistake "personal" for romantic or inappropriate.  I really mean it in the way that forms the connections that make work life more human.  The things the classes tell you you're supposed to do - find out what motivates people, what matters to them - find common ground.  I have formed those types of relationships with people I work with across the miles, and it really does work.

And, yet, there is still something special about being able to peek around a cubicle wall and smile.  Or greet in the morning, or walk with to the cafeteria.

I really have tried to do those things with the people who sit near me already...even though I really don't work with them.  It's slow.  Everybody's too busy.  Or too absorbed.  And, honestly, it's been pretty lonely. I sit in my cube and work and eat.  I pack my lunch and snacks to last the whole day long. 

Connections are important.

I'm excited.  I'll soon have someone to share my cookies...

Dare to Make Someone's Day

It doesn't take much - sometimes just a few seconds - to make someone's day.  I know, because I am thankful any time someone takes the time to be kind to me.  Not only does it feel good, but it can last all day!

Last week, I was walking down the hall at work and I saw a lady I know coming toward me.  She was wearing a sleeveless top and in that moment, she was absolutely radiant!  "You are really looking great!" I told her as I approached. 

I wish you could have seen her face beaming.  "Oh, THANK YOU," she said with a huge smile.

Now, I happen to know that this lady worked hard to lose a bit of weight a few years back.  I also recently saw her in the gym at work, where she told me she continues to work out faithfully.  I also know that she's recently suffered the loss of her sister and I think she has some other family things going on.  In general, I really like her.  We aren't close and only have a conversation every few months, if that.  But she's someone I really want to feel good, so it's never hard to pay her a compliment.

The thing is, though I am often attentive to the people closest to me, I don't reserve my compliments for people I like, or even people that I know.  When I step into the elevator, where it's normally silent, I'm quick to comment on a pretty necklace or a colorful dress.  I often pay attention to the details of the people at the grocery store checkout, the waitress serving my food, or anyone in my sight for more than a second. 

I really believe that everyone deserves to feel important, or at least feel like someone sees them, even for a moment.  And if there's something to compliment, even better.

So, I encourage you to point out the positives in the people you know, but also to step outside most people's comfort zone and comment on something to a perfect stranger.  Make it a habit - because it's not just rewarding when you're on the receiving end - the smile you can bring to someone else's face is absolutely priceless!