I just spent all day in the yard - most of it breaking things down to store for the winter. As depressing as it is to pack it all up and see the empty space, I know this change of season is the one thing that forces me to de-clutter the yard and the storage sheds. Yes, that was plural - I've accumulated so much outdoor stuff, I've had to obtain multiple storage sheds and bins to accommodate everything.
After dark, I sat on the front porch swing with my best 4-legged friend. It was peaceful and it really felt good to sit there surrounded by the newly open space.
I'm someone who is known to spend all day in the yard, always working on something. I squeeze every drop of sunlight out of a day. The days have been getting shorter and soon it will be dark too early to do much out there. I may tinker around with a few new designs using oddball pavers, but the majority of the landscape work is done for the year.
As much as I hate to wish time away, I am really looking forward to next summer. This place is going to be awesome next summer! I'm leaving off at a point where I'm all set for a few great spring projects. The good thing is, I will have a few months' break from chasing down the abundant weeds and hopefully be able to get ahead of them in the spring.
Maybe the biggest relief of this year's change of season is leaving the outside projects and being able to focus totally on the indoor projects. Last winter, I spent months confined to mostly my bedroom or the couch as I recovered from knee surgery. No access to the basement for months - no home improvement projects.
Yes, I'm looking forward to a season of transforming my cluttered home office into a streamlined desk space with a wall of books. I need this space to be an inspiration for my writing. Doing the inside work this season will prepare it for the major project next year to open it up with an inspirational view of the back yard. And a sliding door to that space is going to allow me to step right into my backyard paradise.
Each season has a reason, I suppose. As hard as it is to stay inside and miss the birds and flowers....it's a season for change....
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Someone to Share My Cookies
One of my previous posts talks about a guy who sat next to me at work and how I realized he liked donuts....just before he left the company. It took me a few months to get to know him after I was displaced & moved into the cube next to him. But, I no sooner recognized that kindred spirit and he was gone.
This week, a friend of mine from work found out she got his old job! I am so excited! For many reasons...
It's not my department, but it is my division. I used to work in the same department with her, years ago, so I know what she can do....well, she can do much more now....
I actually applied for a different position in that same department - it just happened to open soon after that one. Oh, I was so hopeful that we would both land those positions and be working together again. I mean, as "not easy" as my acclimation was to the team I worked in with her years ago, she and I really ended up having a great working relationship, and more. Turns out, I didn't even get an interview for the other position, but it doesn't even matter. I'm just as excited that she'll be (probably) sitting next to me. And, of course, I know that department just added an excellent person to their team.
It's funny. We're working in a world where remote teams and diverse geographic locations are the norm in business. Work gets done - we have the technology. And for those who really put forth the effort, it really is possible to form "personal" relationships with people miles and miles away. I don't care what anyone says. Where there's a will, there's a way.
And don't mistake "personal" for romantic or inappropriate. I really mean it in the way that forms the connections that make work life more human. The things the classes tell you you're supposed to do - find out what motivates people, what matters to them - find common ground. I have formed those types of relationships with people I work with across the miles, and it really does work.
And, yet, there is still something special about being able to peek around a cubicle wall and smile. Or greet in the morning, or walk with to the cafeteria.
I really have tried to do those things with the people who sit near me already...even though I really don't work with them. It's slow. Everybody's too busy. Or too absorbed. And, honestly, it's been pretty lonely. I sit in my cube and work and eat. I pack my lunch and snacks to last the whole day long.
Connections are important.
I'm excited. I'll soon have someone to share my cookies...
This week, a friend of mine from work found out she got his old job! I am so excited! For many reasons...
It's not my department, but it is my division. I used to work in the same department with her, years ago, so I know what she can do....well, she can do much more now....
I actually applied for a different position in that same department - it just happened to open soon after that one. Oh, I was so hopeful that we would both land those positions and be working together again. I mean, as "not easy" as my acclimation was to the team I worked in with her years ago, she and I really ended up having a great working relationship, and more. Turns out, I didn't even get an interview for the other position, but it doesn't even matter. I'm just as excited that she'll be (probably) sitting next to me. And, of course, I know that department just added an excellent person to their team.
It's funny. We're working in a world where remote teams and diverse geographic locations are the norm in business. Work gets done - we have the technology. And for those who really put forth the effort, it really is possible to form "personal" relationships with people miles and miles away. I don't care what anyone says. Where there's a will, there's a way.
And don't mistake "personal" for romantic or inappropriate. I really mean it in the way that forms the connections that make work life more human. The things the classes tell you you're supposed to do - find out what motivates people, what matters to them - find common ground. I have formed those types of relationships with people I work with across the miles, and it really does work.
And, yet, there is still something special about being able to peek around a cubicle wall and smile. Or greet in the morning, or walk with to the cafeteria.
I really have tried to do those things with the people who sit near me already...even though I really don't work with them. It's slow. Everybody's too busy. Or too absorbed. And, honestly, it's been pretty lonely. I sit in my cube and work and eat. I pack my lunch and snacks to last the whole day long.
Connections are important.
I'm excited. I'll soon have someone to share my cookies...
Monday, October 3, 2011
Dare to Make Someone's Day
It doesn't take much - sometimes just a few seconds - to make someone's day. I know, because I am thankful any time someone takes the time to be kind to me. Not only does it feel good, but it can last all day!
Last week, I was walking down the hall at work and I saw a lady I know coming toward me. She was wearing a sleeveless top and in that moment, she was absolutely radiant! "You are really looking great!" I told her as I approached.
I wish you could have seen her face beaming. "Oh, THANK YOU," she said with a huge smile.
Now, I happen to know that this lady worked hard to lose a bit of weight a few years back. I also recently saw her in the gym at work, where she told me she continues to work out faithfully. I also know that she's recently suffered the loss of her sister and I think she has some other family things going on. In general, I really like her. We aren't close and only have a conversation every few months, if that. But she's someone I really want to feel good, so it's never hard to pay her a compliment.
The thing is, though I am often attentive to the people closest to me, I don't reserve my compliments for people I like, or even people that I know. When I step into the elevator, where it's normally silent, I'm quick to comment on a pretty necklace or a colorful dress. I often pay attention to the details of the people at the grocery store checkout, the waitress serving my food, or anyone in my sight for more than a second.
I really believe that everyone deserves to feel important, or at least feel like someone sees them, even for a moment. And if there's something to compliment, even better.
So, I encourage you to point out the positives in the people you know, but also to step outside most people's comfort zone and comment on something to a perfect stranger. Make it a habit - because it's not just rewarding when you're on the receiving end - the smile you can bring to someone else's face is absolutely priceless!
Last week, I was walking down the hall at work and I saw a lady I know coming toward me. She was wearing a sleeveless top and in that moment, she was absolutely radiant! "You are really looking great!" I told her as I approached.
I wish you could have seen her face beaming. "Oh, THANK YOU," she said with a huge smile.
Now, I happen to know that this lady worked hard to lose a bit of weight a few years back. I also recently saw her in the gym at work, where she told me she continues to work out faithfully. I also know that she's recently suffered the loss of her sister and I think she has some other family things going on. In general, I really like her. We aren't close and only have a conversation every few months, if that. But she's someone I really want to feel good, so it's never hard to pay her a compliment.
The thing is, though I am often attentive to the people closest to me, I don't reserve my compliments for people I like, or even people that I know. When I step into the elevator, where it's normally silent, I'm quick to comment on a pretty necklace or a colorful dress. I often pay attention to the details of the people at the grocery store checkout, the waitress serving my food, or anyone in my sight for more than a second.
I really believe that everyone deserves to feel important, or at least feel like someone sees them, even for a moment. And if there's something to compliment, even better.
So, I encourage you to point out the positives in the people you know, but also to step outside most people's comfort zone and comment on something to a perfect stranger. Make it a habit - because it's not just rewarding when you're on the receiving end - the smile you can bring to someone else's face is absolutely priceless!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Decisions, Decisions...
I'm a person who has a difficult time making decisions. Not like ice cream flavors - I really like only a few flavors enough to eat a whole dish - even with 52 flavors on the board. But putting a remote in my hand in a house with 200 tv channels is a total nightmare for me. Too many choices!
Honestly, choosing from several fairly equal options is a challenge. A or B makes life much easier for me. Most people like options... love choices....but, too many choices take me too long to weigh and compare.
But the big and potentially life-changing decisions are the hardest. And even more so when it's not just my life.
Over a month ago, I made the decision to pursue chemotherapy treatment for my dog. He's my BEST friend. And after 3 surgeries to remove new tumors, 3 months in a row, it seemed that choice was almost made for me. I mean, what's the alternative? More surgeries? Or...do nothing? I can't even fathom how to do that....the doing nothing option. Still, it was an excruciating decision.
After a week of horrible gastrointestinal side effects and him barely wanting to move, I started to question my decision. Maybe fortunately, his first 2-week lab check brought results that stopped the treatment. I've been enjoying his slow return to normal, but the vet finally caught up with me and we had to discuss next steps and I had to make a new decision rather quickly. A different kind of chemo...
My mom tells me you can't second guess. You just make the best decision you can and stand by it.
So, knowing the potential side effects and the impacts the whole thing will have on me (mostly things that will bring even more stress), I'll move forward with sadness, pray a lot, and hope for the best.
When more than one big and potentially life-changing decision looms, it is very tempting to stick my head in the sand and hope that when I come up for air, the decision has somehow been made for me. There have been way too many of those types of decisions in the past year. And ignoring them never did make them go away. There are days when I still wonder if I made the right decisions.
Some of the other decisions that lie ahead are big ones. I know myself well enough to know that making these decisions will likely be harder than dealing with the consequences of the final ruling.
I sure do miss the days of choosing A, B, or maybe C. And what I miss more is the ability to make a decision and move forward without ever missing a beat.
Honestly, choosing from several fairly equal options is a challenge. A or B makes life much easier for me. Most people like options... love choices....but, too many choices take me too long to weigh and compare.
But the big and potentially life-changing decisions are the hardest. And even more so when it's not just my life.
Over a month ago, I made the decision to pursue chemotherapy treatment for my dog. He's my BEST friend. And after 3 surgeries to remove new tumors, 3 months in a row, it seemed that choice was almost made for me. I mean, what's the alternative? More surgeries? Or...do nothing? I can't even fathom how to do that....the doing nothing option. Still, it was an excruciating decision.
After a week of horrible gastrointestinal side effects and him barely wanting to move, I started to question my decision. Maybe fortunately, his first 2-week lab check brought results that stopped the treatment. I've been enjoying his slow return to normal, but the vet finally caught up with me and we had to discuss next steps and I had to make a new decision rather quickly. A different kind of chemo...
My mom tells me you can't second guess. You just make the best decision you can and stand by it.
So, knowing the potential side effects and the impacts the whole thing will have on me (mostly things that will bring even more stress), I'll move forward with sadness, pray a lot, and hope for the best.
When more than one big and potentially life-changing decision looms, it is very tempting to stick my head in the sand and hope that when I come up for air, the decision has somehow been made for me. There have been way too many of those types of decisions in the past year. And ignoring them never did make them go away. There are days when I still wonder if I made the right decisions.
Some of the other decisions that lie ahead are big ones. I know myself well enough to know that making these decisions will likely be harder than dealing with the consequences of the final ruling.
I sure do miss the days of choosing A, B, or maybe C. And what I miss more is the ability to make a decision and move forward without ever missing a beat.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Understanding Your Influence
I'm a person of MANY interests. I enjoy so many activities, from African drumming and martial arts to landscaping and creative writing. Some of those have lasted years, others, as with anyone, have ebbed and flowed and some have fallen by the wayside.
Enjoying any given activity is generally something that stays with a person. Sure, we can lose interest, and sometimes we get hooked on certain things based on the life circumstances or situations of any given time. For example, people may be coaching children's soccer only when their children are involved. That kind of change is pretty normal.
What I find to be sad is that people can maintain interests and enjoyment in activities, yet, ultimately be put off by the people they need to tolerate in the meantime. "Why can't we all just get along?" you ask...If only it was that simple. People really can be a valid deterrent to pursuing your life's pleasures - simple or otherwise.
As I've personally experienced this phenomenon, I can attest that it's true. And, sad to say, I've dropped out of some activities that were very enjoyable, satisfying, and rewarding because people tainted the experience for me. Why do I give people that much power? Again, if only it was as simple as ignoring the people that come with it.
But I write this, not to complain. (Although I really do miss some of the things I've done, both hobbies and pleasure, as well as jobs.)
It's just as important to realize the influence each of us has to either build up or tear down, to enhance or detract from the experience of the people around us.
I personally never want to be the reason anyone turns away from their dream, quits a job, or gives up something they enjoy.
If you don't have anything good to say....maybe it's better to say nothing at all. You'd be surprised at who's listening, watching, or simply putting up with your actions....
Enjoying any given activity is generally something that stays with a person. Sure, we can lose interest, and sometimes we get hooked on certain things based on the life circumstances or situations of any given time. For example, people may be coaching children's soccer only when their children are involved. That kind of change is pretty normal.
What I find to be sad is that people can maintain interests and enjoyment in activities, yet, ultimately be put off by the people they need to tolerate in the meantime. "Why can't we all just get along?" you ask...If only it was that simple. People really can be a valid deterrent to pursuing your life's pleasures - simple or otherwise.
As I've personally experienced this phenomenon, I can attest that it's true. And, sad to say, I've dropped out of some activities that were very enjoyable, satisfying, and rewarding because people tainted the experience for me. Why do I give people that much power? Again, if only it was as simple as ignoring the people that come with it.
But I write this, not to complain. (Although I really do miss some of the things I've done, both hobbies and pleasure, as well as jobs.)
It's just as important to realize the influence each of us has to either build up or tear down, to enhance or detract from the experience of the people around us.
I personally never want to be the reason anyone turns away from their dream, quits a job, or gives up something they enjoy.
If you don't have anything good to say....maybe it's better to say nothing at all. You'd be surprised at who's listening, watching, or simply putting up with your actions....
Monday, September 19, 2011
5 Minutes
I worked all day. Busy, busy. Important work, they say.
Had to stay a little late this evening. I've always been one of the late people at work - I think I like the peace of being alone in there, even though I'm still just in my cube.
It's quiet. And I've spent years greeting the people who come after hours to clean the offices.
Tonight, I spent 5 minutes talking with the guy assigned to my floor. We've exchanged hellos before, but little more. He started out asking if my cube neighbor had moved, yet. He had told him he was moving away. Yes, he had. But he continued to talk. Checking in about the recent flood impact and relaying his own. But what caught my attention was where he lives, where he came from, how did he end up there....
It was a short conversation, but I learned about his family, about his challenges, the reason he walks with a forearm crutch, and his determination to recover from a tumor operation that left him unable to walk.
It only took 5 minutes to listen....
I did my "important work" all day long and didn't feel the satisfaction I felt in that 5 minutes of my day....
Had to stay a little late this evening. I've always been one of the late people at work - I think I like the peace of being alone in there, even though I'm still just in my cube.
It's quiet. And I've spent years greeting the people who come after hours to clean the offices.
Tonight, I spent 5 minutes talking with the guy assigned to my floor. We've exchanged hellos before, but little more. He started out asking if my cube neighbor had moved, yet. He had told him he was moving away. Yes, he had. But he continued to talk. Checking in about the recent flood impact and relaying his own. But what caught my attention was where he lives, where he came from, how did he end up there....
It was a short conversation, but I learned about his family, about his challenges, the reason he walks with a forearm crutch, and his determination to recover from a tumor operation that left him unable to walk.
It only took 5 minutes to listen....
I did my "important work" all day long and didn't feel the satisfaction I felt in that 5 minutes of my day....
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Making Connections
In all areas of my life, I have the opportunity to come into contact with a LOT of people. Work people, dog people, drumming people, community people, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm not saying that I have more opportunity than most people, but those specific pockets have big social potential.
What may be unique is that I often feel drawn to actually connect with so many people in those arenas.
Admittedly, I am much more of a one-on-one person than a crowd person. I can be in crowds and participate in activities that are "group" in nature, but I'm much more content when I can feel engaged in smaller groups or with individuals. If it comes down to a matter of quality vs. quantity, I guess I prefer the richness of my relationships.
At work, recently, I find myself face-to-face with people I worked alongside nearly 20 years ago. The memories aren't as clear, and I can't name their children any more, but there's something about the flicker of recognition in their eyes and the way we pause for more than just a quick "hello" that tells me I've been this way for a very long time. And with my newer work colleagues, the nature of my job, and the advent of facebook that sometimes blends my personal and professional lives, the connections go beyond the workplace.
In my life outside of work, it's even more evident that I not only connect, but almost attach to people, often in the most unlikely ways. Not that it bothers me, but the realization of that fact really wonders me.
About a week ago, I sat across the street on the neighbor's porch with the kids and their mom. As I sat with my legs dangling over the front of the porch, I soaked up the familiarity of that position - just a year ago, I spent collective hours sitting right there, feeding and trying to befriend a large number of feral cats in the hopes of trapping and placing them in safe new homes.
As I sat there, I thought about three of the seven I was able to re-home in a single place, and made a mental note to check back in with the woman who was kind enough to take them. All of the new homes were found through craigslist, believe it or not. And of three homes, this one was the best. Two kitties were trapped in the first round and the lady was patient and willing enough to take the last one, which took me weeks to catch.
Maybe it was the shared journey that lasted more than just a trap, transport, and transfer that created a deeper connection, but I felt so blessed for that more lasting connection. These kitties were to become barn kitties and live safely in a large tack room. I was able to visit them after they moved there, and as I lived many years with horses in my life, she invited me to see the new baby (horse, that is) and also invited me over to ride. We only rode once, but it was a huge event for me to be back in the saddle after so many years, and she even took pictures of me that I posted on facebook! The last kitty placed with her turned up with a painful internal infection and had to be put down. Sad, but I guess that was part of the journey, too.
It's been a busy week, and I haven't been on facebook much, but I did see a few pics she posted and commented on at least one. It slipped my mind to check in on the kitties after the mental note I made a week ago. What a pleasant surprise to see her chat me up on facebook this morning, specifically to let me know that the kitties (Mr. Bill and Maggie) are doing great and are now her friends! We chatted a few minutes and I felt bad that I had totally missed the fact that her husband passed away two months ago. I never met him, but I did know he'd been sick. My heart goes out to her for such a loss after more than 40 years together - 39 married.
So, all that to say, it may be hard to keep up with so many people, but I feel so blessed to have those connections. And that one isn't the only lasting friendship that came from a simple craigslist ad! I have one lady who calls to check in on me and my dog, Solomon, as we've both had health issues in the past year. Another periodically emails photos to me so show how a life-size dummy she got from me is helping with each new fund-raising activity.
It's a rich life.
Make connections....it's worth every single second it takes to stop and say more than "hello."
What may be unique is that I often feel drawn to actually connect with so many people in those arenas.
Admittedly, I am much more of a one-on-one person than a crowd person. I can be in crowds and participate in activities that are "group" in nature, but I'm much more content when I can feel engaged in smaller groups or with individuals. If it comes down to a matter of quality vs. quantity, I guess I prefer the richness of my relationships.
At work, recently, I find myself face-to-face with people I worked alongside nearly 20 years ago. The memories aren't as clear, and I can't name their children any more, but there's something about the flicker of recognition in their eyes and the way we pause for more than just a quick "hello" that tells me I've been this way for a very long time. And with my newer work colleagues, the nature of my job, and the advent of facebook that sometimes blends my personal and professional lives, the connections go beyond the workplace.
In my life outside of work, it's even more evident that I not only connect, but almost attach to people, often in the most unlikely ways. Not that it bothers me, but the realization of that fact really wonders me.
About a week ago, I sat across the street on the neighbor's porch with the kids and their mom. As I sat with my legs dangling over the front of the porch, I soaked up the familiarity of that position - just a year ago, I spent collective hours sitting right there, feeding and trying to befriend a large number of feral cats in the hopes of trapping and placing them in safe new homes.
As I sat there, I thought about three of the seven I was able to re-home in a single place, and made a mental note to check back in with the woman who was kind enough to take them. All of the new homes were found through craigslist, believe it or not. And of three homes, this one was the best. Two kitties were trapped in the first round and the lady was patient and willing enough to take the last one, which took me weeks to catch.
Maybe it was the shared journey that lasted more than just a trap, transport, and transfer that created a deeper connection, but I felt so blessed for that more lasting connection. These kitties were to become barn kitties and live safely in a large tack room. I was able to visit them after they moved there, and as I lived many years with horses in my life, she invited me to see the new baby (horse, that is) and also invited me over to ride. We only rode once, but it was a huge event for me to be back in the saddle after so many years, and she even took pictures of me that I posted on facebook! The last kitty placed with her turned up with a painful internal infection and had to be put down. Sad, but I guess that was part of the journey, too.
It's been a busy week, and I haven't been on facebook much, but I did see a few pics she posted and commented on at least one. It slipped my mind to check in on the kitties after the mental note I made a week ago. What a pleasant surprise to see her chat me up on facebook this morning, specifically to let me know that the kitties (Mr. Bill and Maggie) are doing great and are now her friends! We chatted a few minutes and I felt bad that I had totally missed the fact that her husband passed away two months ago. I never met him, but I did know he'd been sick. My heart goes out to her for such a loss after more than 40 years together - 39 married.
So, all that to say, it may be hard to keep up with so many people, but I feel so blessed to have those connections. And that one isn't the only lasting friendship that came from a simple craigslist ad! I have one lady who calls to check in on me and my dog, Solomon, as we've both had health issues in the past year. Another periodically emails photos to me so show how a life-size dummy she got from me is helping with each new fund-raising activity.
It's a rich life.
Make connections....it's worth every single second it takes to stop and say more than "hello."
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